Music: Harsh Realm

I'm waking up in night terrors
Can't stop the future, it keeps pushing me ahead
I feel the weight of the world crushing down on me
Time seems so linear
Decisions seem so absolute

Yeah, it's a harsh realm
Yeah, it's a harsh realm
Don't abandon me
Don't abandon me

There's a million things to get done today
I can't calm down, I can't think straight
You give a little bit of time to everyone you meet
What do you save for yourself?
How much money do you need to gain yourself a sense of security?

Yeah, it's a harsh realm
Yeah, it's a harsh realm
Don't abandon me
Don't abandon me

Music: Sink Florida Sink

Music: Black

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?

Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning

How quick the sun can drop away

All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun
in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine

Music: Girl From the North Country

If you're traveling in the north country fair
where the winds hit heavy on the borderline
remember me to one who lives there
for she was once a true love of mine

Well, if you go when the snowflakes storm
when the rivers freeze and summer ends
please see for me if she's wearing a coat so warm
to keep her from the howlin' winds

Please see for me if her hair hangs long
if it rolls and flows all down her breast
please see for me if her hair's hanging long
for that's the way I remember her best

I'm a-wondering if she remembers me at all
many times I've hoped and prayed
in the darkness of my night
in the brightness of my day

So if you're traveling in the north country fair
where the winds hit heavy on the borderline
Please say hello to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine

Music: Only a Pawn in Their Game

A bullet from the back of a bush took Medgar Evers' blood
A finger fired the trigger to his name
A handle hid out in the dark
A hand set the spark
Two eyes took the aim
Behind a man's brain
But he can't be blamed
He's only a pawn in their game

A South politician preaches to the poor white man
"You got more than blacks, don't complain
You're better than them, you been born with white skin" they explain
And the Negro's name
Is used it is plain
For the politician's gain
As he rises to fame
And the poor white remains
On the caboose of the train
But it ain't him to blame
He's only a pawn in their game

The deputy sheriffs, the soldiers, the governors get paid
And the marshals and cops get the same
But the poor white man's used in the hands of them all like a tool
He's taught in his school
From the start by the rule
That the laws are with him
To protect his white skin
To keep up his hate
So he never thinks straight
'Bout the shape that he's in
But it ain't him to blame
He's only a pawn in their game

From the poverty shacks, he looks from the cracks to the tracks
And the hoof beats pound in his brain
And he's taught how to walk in a pack
Shoot in the back
With his fist in a clinch
To hang and to lynch
To hide 'neath the hood
To kill with no pain
Like a dog on a chain
He ain't got no name
But it ain't him to blame
He's only a pawn in their game

Today, Medgar Evers was buried from the bullet he caught
They lowered him down as a king
But when the shadowy sun sets on the one
That fired the gun
He'll see by his grave
On the stone that remains
Carved next to his name
His epitaph plain:
Only a pawn in their game

Music: Boots of Spanish Leather

This, I believe, is my most beloved song.



Oh I'm sailin' away my own true love
I'm sailin' away in the morning
Is there something I can send you from across the sea
From the place that I'll be landing?

No, there's nothin' you can send me, my own true love
There's nothin' I wish to be ownin'
Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled
From across that lonesome ocean

Oh, but I just thought you might want something fine
Made of silver or of golden
Either from the mountains of Madrid
Or from the coast of Barcelona?

Oh, but if I had the stars from the darkest night
And the diamonds from the deepest ocean
I'd forsake them all for your sweet kiss
For that's all I'm wishin' to be ownin'

That I might be gone a long time
And it's only that I'm askin'
Is there something I can send you to remember me by
To make your time more easy passin'?

Oh, how can, how can you ask me again
It only brings me sorrow
The same thing I want from you today
I would want again tomorrow

I got a letter on a lonesome day
It was from her ship a-sailin'
Saying I don't know when I'll be comin' back again
It depends on how I'm a-feelin'

Well, if you, my love, must think that-a-way
I'm sure your mind is roarmin'
I'm sure your thoughts are not with me
But with the country to where you're goin'

So take heed, take heed of the western wind
Take heed of the stormy weather
And yes, there's something you can send back to me
Spanish boots of Spanish leather

Music: With God on Our Side

Oh my name it is nothin'

My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
I's taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And that land that I live in
Has God on its side

Oh the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh the country was young
With God on its side

Oh the Spanish-American
War had its day
And the Civil War too
Was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes
I's made to memorize
With guns in their hands
And God on their side

Oh the First World War, boys
It closed out its fate
The reason for fighting
I never got straight
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don't count the dead
When God's on your side

When the Second World War
Came to an end
We forgave the Germans
And we were friends
Though they murdered six million
In the ovens they fried
The Germans now too
Have God on their side

I've learned to hate Russians
All through my whole life
If another war starts
It's them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side

But now we got weapons
Of the chemical dust
If fire them we're forced to
Then fire them we must
One push of the button
And a shot the world wide
And you never ask questions
When God's on your side

In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side

So now as I'm leavin'
I'm weary as hell
The confusion I'm feelin'
Ain't no tongue can tell
The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
If God's on our side
He'll stop the next war

(just buy the album)

Music: Addicted

I'm my own man so when will you learn
That you got a man but I got to burn
Don't make no difference if I end up alone
I'd rather have myself a smoke my homegrown

So I can get mine and you get yours

Music: Will You Still Love me Tomorrow

I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now, cause I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?

Music: Love is a Losing Game

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand

Self professed... profound
Till the chips were down
...know you're a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Music: Back to Black

Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy

You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through

And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to.....

I go back to us

You go back to her
And I go back to black

Music: At the Hop

Put me in your suitcase
Let me help you pack
'Cause you're never coming back
No, you're never coming back

Cook me in your breakfast
And put me on your plate
'Cause you know I taste great
Yeah, you know I taste great

Put me in your dry dream
Or put me in your wet
If you haven't yet
No, if you haven't yet

Well, I won't stop all of my pretending
That you'll come home
You'll be coming home someday soon

Put me in your blue skies
Or put me in your grey
There's gotta be some way
There's gotta be some way

Put me in your tongue tie
Make it hard to say
That you ain't gonna stay
That you ain't gonna stay

Wrap me in your marrow
Stuff me in your bones
Sing a mending moan
A song to bring you home

Music: Times They are a-Changin

Come senators, congressman
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall

It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand

Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
You old road is rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'

Music: Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town

I seem to recognize your face
Haunting, familiar, yet I can't seem to place it
Cannot find the candle of thought to light your name

Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away...
Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away...

I swear I recognize your breath
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising

Me, you wouldn't recall, for I'm not my former

I changed by not changing at all, small town predicts my fate

I just want to scream- HELLO
My god its been so long, never dreamed you'd return

But now here you are, and here I am
hearts and thoughts they fade...away...

Gratitude Journal

• Beirut (music)
• Charlotte's Web (reading for the first time thanks to the library)
• Basmati rice
• "Gone with the Wind" (saw the film for the first time)
• Water

Knowledge: Replacements

“There are replacements for eggs, cheese, milk and meat. But there is no replacement for freedom, the bond between a mother and child, the joy of playing freely in a field, or a life lost.” - Nina Vecchi, Wachusett, Vegan Society

Knowledge: Intellectual and Moral Advice from Bertrand Russell

Bertrand Russell on what is worth telling future generations about the life he has lived and the lessons he has learned from it:

"I should like to say two things. One intellectual and one moral. The intellectual thing I should want to say to them is this, when you are studying any matter or considering any philosophy ask yourself only what are the facts and what is the truth that the facts bear out. Never let yourself be diverted either by what you wish to believe or by what you think would have beneficial social effects if it were believed, but look only and solely at what are the facts. That is the intellectual thing that I should wish to say. The moral thing I should wish to say to them is very simple, I should say, love is wise, hatred is foolish. In this world, which is getting more and more closely interconnected, we have to learn to tolerate each other. We have to learn to put up with the fact that some people say things that we don't like. We can only live together in that way, but if we are to live together and not die together we must learn a kind of charity and a kind of tolerance which is absolutely vital to the continuation of human life on this planet."
- Bertrand Russell

Music: Jackrabbits

Joanna Newsom, Jackrabbits

I shaped up overnight, you know
The day after she died
When I saw my heart, and I tell you, darling
It was open wide

And it can have no bounds, you know
It can have no end
But you can take my hand in the darkness, darling
When you need a friend

Music: Tis of Thee

Ani Difranco, Tis of Thee

And I hold on hard to something
between my teeth when I'm sleeping
I wake up and my jaw aches
and the earth is full of earthquakes

Music: Half Assed

Ani Difranco, Half Assed

I just wanna tune out all the billboards
Weld myself a mental shield
I just wanna put down all the pressures
And feel how I really feel

So I'll be outside, in love with the kind of beauty
It takes more than eyes to know

Music: My Dearest Friend

I'm gonna die of loneliness I know
I'm gonna die of loneliness for sure

Music: Rats

Devendra Banhart, Rats

I close my eyes and I see you dancing
do you see me when you close yours too?

Music: Declare Independence

Bjork, Declare Independence

Start your own currency!
Make your own stamp
Protect your language

Tear off their blindfolds
Open their eyes

With a flag and a trumpet
Go to the top of your highest mountain!

Music: I'm on Fire

Bruce Springsteen, I'm on Fire

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife
baby edgy and dull
and cut a six inch valley
through the middle of my soul

Music: Whole Lotta Losin

Monsters of Folk, Whole Lotta Losin'

Well I've got a lot, lord, I've got a lot of losing,
friends and heroes packing up and moving,
One of these days I'll be left with nothing but memories and old time

And I better get accustomed, cause I've got a lot, lord, I got a lot of losing

Music: Imagine

John Lennon, Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Music: The Light, Part II

Mason Jennings, The Light, Part II

What can I do to defy you
What can I do to deny you
'cause I want no part of this breaking
This is a hurtful mistake you are making
And to me this love was true and shining
These years were real and defining
Please don't forget how much I meant to you
When you are redefined by someone new

Music: Crown

Mason Jennings, Crown

I don't wanna be together
I don't wanna be apart
I don't want none of this love for you honey
Deep, deep down in my heart
You were my dream come true
Can't you see what you've put me through
The love that tears me apart
Still beats deep, deep down in my heart
Deep, deep, deep down in my heart

Music: Black Panther

Mason Jennings, Black Panther

Black panther defy the power
Fight the violence with nonviolence

What good is justice if the scales are bent
By a criminal government

Think of the dead in Vietnam
Think of the dead in Birmingham

Think of the freedom we don't understand
Asleep in bed in a stolen land

Responsibility to understand
Responsibility to take a stand
Responsibility to know your place
In the struggle of the human race

Music: California

Mason Jennings, California
Don't you know baby I'm a leading man
I dig down deep when i say I love you
And I can hold my own with the best of them
I guarantee you, you will never see nothing like this again

California, I hope that it wakes you
From all of the darkness
That I couldn't break through

'cause I'm gonna miss you, I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you, I'm gonna miss you

But all along baby it was understood
That you were leaving, absolutely
Since the very first day we met

California, I hope that it wakes you
From all of the darkness
That I couldn't break through
'cause I'm gonna miss you, I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you, I'm gonna miss you

Like I miss the ocean
When I go to sleep
Man, it's gonna break my heart

Music: Adrian

Mason Jennings, Adrian
From now on I am part of you
I am the story that you'll tell
Let my life empower you
Let my trouble teach you well
Let your burning hatred go
Learn yourself until you know
That fear is where all hatred begins
We don't fear death my Adrian

Music: Ocean Breathes Salty

Ocean Breathes Salty by Sun Kil Moon

Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in.
In my head, in my heart, in my soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both live again.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Don't think so.

The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hope so.

You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?

Music: Me and Armini

Emiliana Torrini, Me and Armini

Some people think that
I'm heading for a meltdown

This I know
She doesn't love you like I do
Yes it's clear
She'll never love you like me

Music: Natural Light

Sun Kil Moon, Natural Light

I got some news on you from a friend

you cut your hair like a boy and you don't talk to your old friends

I found a picture from before the fight
we're in natural light
and you're sitting on my lap like everything's alright

I've walked around with you on my mind

you know I've changed myself since then

Music: When You Were Mine

Prince, When You Were Mine

I love you more than I did when you were mine

Music: Helplessness Blues

Fleet Foxes, Helplessness Blues

And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be
A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me

If I know only one thing, it's that everything that I see
Of the world outside is so inconceivable often I barely can speak

Yeah I'm tongue-tied and dizzy and I can't keep it to myself

If I had an orchard, I'd work till I'm sore

Music: All My Friends

LCD Soundsystem, All My Friends

If I could see all my friends tonight
If I could see all my friends tonight

Music: Sweet Thing

Van Morrison, Sweet Thing... heard this for the first time in Cabo San Lucas, shooting a wedding outside by the beach

Music: Montezuma

Fleet Foxes, Montezuma

So now I am older than my mother and father
when they had their daughter
now what does that say about me


Oh man what I used to be
Oh man oh my oh me
Oh man what I used to be
Oh man oh my oh me

Music: You Can Have it All

Yo La Tengo, You Can Have it All

If you want, want my love
Take it baby
If you want, want my heart
Take it baby
You can have it all

If you want, want my time
Take it baby
And if you want my last dime
Take it bay
You can have it all

Take it baby, you can have it all

Music: Hair Down

Cold War Kids, Hair Down

She's laughing like a choir girl
when she doubles over sounds like Hallelujah

Music: Cannons

Music: Seahorse

Devendra Banhart, Seahorse

I'm high and I'm happy and I'm free
I got my whole heart laid out right in front of me
And I finally can see the way it's always been
The need for peace starts from within
So I leave my possessions to the wind
And I'm done with ever wanting anything
Well I can die satisfied
No desires do I hide
Not today, not today
Nor for the next one thousand lives

Music: Isabella

Mason Jennings, Isabella Part II

Don't treat me like I'm dead and gone
I just want to see my baby daughter
Before her childhood is gone

Music: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

Discovery, I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

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